


Widow's Man

by Anteros



Category: Hornblower (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-09
Updated: 2010-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-27 03:42:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anteros/pseuds/Anteros
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A much less grim companion piece to <a href="http://anteros-lmc.livejournal.com/30833.html">On the Bridge</a>.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Widow's Man

**Author's Note:**

> A much less grim companion piece to [On the Bridge](http://anteros-lmc.livejournal.com/30833.html).

* * *

  
**I**

Pellew sat and stared at the muster book open on the desk before him. The hand in the left margin was narrow and cramped, the hand in the right blocky and regular. The latter he knew well, Lieutenant Bracegirdle’s. The other hand he barely recognized, indeed he barely remembered the man. A junior lieutenant, hadn’t been with the ship long. Chadd, yes, that was his name. The man had been dead for over two years, killed along with many of the other men whose names progressed in a neat ladder down the side of the ledger. D.D. - Discharged Dead. Many of them had died together during the cutting out of the _Papillion_ and the subsequent action between the frigate and the French corvettes. Pellew cast his mind back. The cutting out had been an audacious venture and the _Papillion_ a glittering prize with which to dazzle the Admiralty, fill the pockets of the crew and thrill the readers of the _Gazette_. But by God it had been a bloody night’s business and they had paid the price. Pellew was accustomed to the cost of war but never the less felt the death of each and every seaman, rated or able, commissioned officer or warrant, as a personal toll that weighed against him. And the toll had been heavy that night. Countless ratings dead and injured, two lieutenants killed in action, one midshipman shot and almost drowned and another….. Pellew looked down the list of names. There it was: Ab d Kennedy, rank Midn. It wasn’t difficult to find the entry. The final word in that line of the ledger was written in his own hand. “Missing.”

Pellew remembered writing that word. Remembered because he had known it was an unacceptable breach of protocol and because he had believed it to be a lie. He remembered the hours that had passed before, as he stood on the battered quarterdeck of his frigate and listened as the quarter bills called the tally of the living and the dead. Lieutenant Bracegirdle had read the quarter bill for Chadd’s division, both lieutenant and midshipman were gone and the ratings decimated. Every other name was met by the response “Dead, sir”, “Injured, sir". The words washed over him. More deaths lying at his door. He hadn’t registered the name Bracegirdle had called, one more in the litany of the dead. But the response roused him from his torpor. It was the conviction with which the two words were spoken.

“Missing, sir.”

Clear and determined. As if by voicing those two words _they_ would be true and not any others. Not “Dead, sir”. The voice had not come from the ruined division by the larboard long guns, but from Eccelstone’s division by the quarterdeck carronade. Ecclestone was gone and in his place stood a bloodied, bedraggled but upright Midshipman Hornblower. Bracegirdle had stopped and looked up in some surprise.

“Mr Hornblower?”

“Missing, sir. Midshipman Kennedy is …missing. Sir.”

He hadn’t moved a muscle, hadn’t even blinked but the break in his voice was unmistakable. Bracegirdle frowned, looked away and called another name. “Aye, sir”, responded a rating. Hornblower was blinking furiously now and Pellew felt a swell of anger and remorse.

Later in the quiet of the first watch Pellew had sat in his cabin, as he sat now, and counted the sum of the dead. His eye lit on the one name against which there was no mark. Abd Kennedy, and he remembered the absolute determination of Hornblower’s response. In the blank space he carefully inscribed a single word “Missing.” It was an unusual lapse into sentimentality. If he was honest, he barely remembered the lad, but what he did remember was that he was rarely far from Hornblower's side. He knew he was overly fond of Hornblower and in the face of such desperate belief he had not the will to inscribe those two letters, D.D., and deliver the sentence that would wreck not just one young life but two.

Later, on hearing the circumstances surrounding the loss of the unfortunate Kennedy, Pellew had initially been prepared to give Hornblower the benefit of the doubt. But as months passed and the name he sought, nor any semblance of it, failed to appear on the lists of prisoners of war that arrived from France on an irregular basis, Pellew regretfully condemned Hornblower's hope as youthful delusion. The boy was surely dead. But in deference to the boy that remained he still could not bring himself to strike out that "missing". That would be tantamount to striking out hope. And God knows they needed hope.

So the missing Kennedy had become a supernumerary widows' man. A ghost of a ghost. Contravening Admiralty regulations which dictated even the number of phantom men a ship could carry to compensate the unfortunate widows of their endless wars. And in his absence, Kennedy, or rather his midshipman's allowance had gone on to provide a token of recompense to numerous widows and orphans of the interminable conflict.

And then the improbable ghost returned.

* * *

  
 **II**

Kennedy had been back aboard the _Indefatigable_ a bare month since their release from El Ferrol when he received the long dreaded summons to report to the captain. Surprised as he was to have been reinstated as one of the frigate’s midshipmen he knew it was a temporary stay of execution. It was only a matter of time before he was either dismissed or court-martialed. There had already been enquiries into the circumstances of his capture. He knew that Hornblower had been required to present a full report to the captain and he felt his stomach lurch and his chest tighten as he imagined Horatio standing pristine and proud before Pellew.

 _"It is with regret that I report that I was obliged to strike Midshipman Kennedy down lest he endanger the mission and the lives of his shipmates…. I can confirm that when Mr Hunter and I discovered Mr Kennedy at the fort of El Ferrol he was quite insensible and it was necessary for the entire party to forego our duty to escape until he recovered his wits and his strength, such as they are."_

The fact that Horatio had taken a rare moment to seek him out and assure him that he had nothing to fear from either his report or the captain was cold comfort as Archie stood by the marine outside the door of Pellew's cabin. He felt the same crushing inevitability that had been his sole companion during those long years of captivity.

"Come."

Pellew was seated behind a plain oak desk scattered with papers. Archie took only one step into the cabin before standing to attention. He felt trapped and his instinct was to stay as close to the door as possible, he would be departing soon anyway.

“Ah, Mr Kennedy.” The captain looked up and peered at him. Archie was acutely aware of his shabby mismatched uniform, assembled from gunroom cast-offs. Pellew picked up a sheaf papers straightened them and returned them to the desk.

“Mr Kennedy,” he began again. “I am at something of a loss. I confess I had not expected your return. Although I might add that it is always gratifying when a shipmate returns from a sojourn abroad.”

Archie focused on a knot in the bulkhead just beyond the captain’s shoulder. Withdrawing to that inner space where he could shut out the inevitable, he was unaware that the captain was waiting for a response.

“Yes, well. Quite.” Pellew continued. “Your name appeared on none of the lists of prisoners of war that were returned to Britain. There were no offers of exchange or demands for ransom. No word was sent to your family or your ship. Am I to take it you were denied the basic rights afforded an officer of His Majesties Royal Navy Mr Kennedy?"

There was no avoiding the direct question. “Aye sir.”

It took several moments more before he realised that the captain was staring at him intently, one eyebrow raised quizzically. He was clearly expected to continue. Archie ran his tongue nervously over his lower lip and took a deep breath.

"I thought I had a duty to escape, sir. I got away from the guards not long after being taken ashore. When I was recaptured they classed me as a deserter and withdrew privileges and parole." The bare words concealed the years of brutality and despair.

“But you continued trying to escape?” The captain was frowning at him now.

“Aye sir. Much good it did.”

“Hmm so I see. I have Lieutenant Hornblower's report here.” Pellew was peering down his nose at pages covered with Horatio’s dense looping hand. “You appear to have made quite strenuous efforts to fulfil your duty. Five times you escaped?"

“Aye...no sir.” Archie’s voice diminished and his eyes trailed from the knot on the bulkhead to the deck at his feet.

“Five times? Five times, Mr Kennedy?” The captain was on his feet now, pacing around the desk. “Five times and yet once you are finally free you willingly volunteered to return to prison. Immediately. Without the slightest hesitation? To honor the parole of a junior officer of a ship that had given you up for dead two years previously?”

“Aye sir.” It was barely a whisper.

The captain was right in front of him now. Protocol demanded that he stand to attention yet he could not drag his eyes from the deck.

“Mr Kennedy, as I said, I am at a loss. Rarely have I seen such selfless devotion to duty and loyalty to one’s fellow man. You are a credit to the service and to this ship sir.”

Archie blinked dumbly. This wasn't how it went. He glanced up at Pellew who was standing only feet away, shrewd brown eyes narrowing on him.

“A credit, Mr Kennedy. I am privileged to have you among my officers. Loyalty and duty deserve recognition and, as it is within my power to grant this much, I am promoting you to acting-lieutenant with immediate effect.”

Archie continued to stare at the captain for several moments. He opened his mouth to speak but he had no words for this extraordinary turn of events. The captain spared him by turning away abruptly and continuing.

“Although I fear I may live to regret your removal to the wardroom. The gunroom will be all the worse for your departure. Lord knows those young gentlemen need a good example to follow. No better than monkeys some of them."

“Aye sir. Monkeys sir.” Archie replied, momentarily finding his tongue.

“One last thing Mr Kennedy, as you are aware, your name was never struck from the _Indefatigable’s_ muster books. An oversight perhaps, but a fortuitous one given your miraculous resurrection. All back pay owed will be paid to you directly. I will personally see to it. And Mr Kennedy, see you use some of it to procure a uniform befitting an acting lieutenant under my command. Be attentive to your person and dress, nothing recommends a young man more to notice. I do not doubt your courage Mr Kennedy but your tailoring leaves something to be desired.”

"Aye, aye sir."

"Reeves!" The captain's sudden bellow startled Kennedy out of his bewilderment. Before he realised who the captain was addressing the marine sentry appeared inside the door. "Ah Reeves, pass the word for Lieutenant Hornblower. Mr Kennedy, you will report to Lieutenant Hornblower until further notice. I trust you will continue to do him, and this ship, credit. Dismissed Acting-Lieutenant.”

* * *

  
 **III**

Archie stood outside the door of the great cabin listening to the receding echo of Hornblower’s name being passed through the ship. He didn’t trust his knees to keep him upright, far less move and he felt quite sick. He was still rooted to the spot, oblivious to the sidelong glances of the marine when Hornblower, quarterdeck decorum thrown to the winds, came bounding down the companion towards him. He stumbled to a halt right in front of Archie and seizing him by the shoulders embraced him warmly.

“Acting Lieutenant Kennedy! I believe congratulations are in order!”

Archie heard, rather than saw the marine cough and shuffle uncomfortably, clearly embarrassed by such unseemly behavior on the part of the officers.

He was still standing motionless in mute astonishment when Hornblower, realising he had not responded to his enthusiastic congratulations, released his embrace and drew back to looked him in the face. Archie was deathly pale and there was a sheen in his blue eyes.

“Arch…” Horatio began in concern before correcting himself, “Mr Kennedy, are you well? I am not mistaken…? Didn’t the captain….?”

Archie roused himself and, hitching a singularly unconvincing smile onto his face, interrupted as brightly as he could.

“Thank you Mr Hornblower, I am fine. And you are not mistaken, Captain Pellew has quite unaccountably seen fit to promote me to acting lieutenant.”

Hornblower peered at him for a second before his face split into an enormous grin. For one heart-stopping moment Archie thought Horatio was going to kiss him, right there in front of the shuffling marine.

Struggling to regain his composure and restore some formality to proceedings, Hornblower gave a small curt bow and, grasping Archie by the elbow, ushered him away from the door.

“Then please allow me to escort you to your new quarters in the wardroom Acting Lieutenant Kennedy.”

They made an unusual sight as they proceeded the short distance from the great cabin to the wardroom. The habitually taciturn Lieutenant Hornblower grinning irrepressibly and chattering like a gull. The new acting lieutenant pale and silent, trailing in his wake.

The wardroom was empty when Hornblower burst in and almost shoved Archie into a tiny cabin on the left.

“Well? This is it Archie! Acting Lieutenant Kennedy! This is your cabin. And this”, he added, stretching out one long arm to span the tiny space and tap the far partition, “is mine.” He was still grinning broadly.

Archie took in his surroundings, exhaled a long breath and rubbed his eyes wearily. Horatio’s smile faded, replaced by an expression of concern.

"Archie are you alright? Have you nothing to say?"

He placed his hands on Archie's shoulders and drew him closer. This time Archie let himself sink into the embrace, dropping his head to Horatio’s shoulder. He felt arms tighten around him.

“I didn’t expect …”

“What didn’t you expect Archie? Didn’t you expect the captain to recognise extraordinary bravery when he saw it? Didn't you expect him to reward your courage?”

Archie's voice was muffled against Horatio's shoulder. "I thought I’d be out on my arse, either that or they’d have my neck, anything but this." He looked up at Horatio with a curiously hopeless expression.

"Archie…" Horatio had adopted his admonishing voice but his hand was in Archie’s hair, smoothing it back over his brow. "Captain Pellew is neither blind nor a fool. And nor am I. You have earned this. It is the very least recompense."

Archie smiled slightly uncertainly, before laying his head against Horatio's shoulder again, closing his eyes. Horatio slipped one hand under Archie's queue, beneath his collar to reach the patch of warm smooth skin at the nape of his neck. They remained there, standing together in a quiet embrace, until the bell rang the afternoon watch. Horatio regretfully disentangled himself from his shipmate and picked up his hat, lying discarded on the cot.

"Alas Acting Lieutenant Kennedy, reward does not come without responsibility. You may have your just rewards but for my sins I have been ordered to instruct a number of the less astute midshipmen in remedial geometry. I despair, really I do, some of them are little better than…”

"Monkeys, yes, the captain said."

Archie’s smile was genuine as Horatio turned for the door.

"H'ratio?"

"Yes Archie?"

"I…I thought for a moment you were going to kiss me. Right there, outside Pellew’s cabin."

"So did I Archie." Horatio grinned sheepishly, before adding with a smirk, "It might have been worth it to see the expression on that marine's face."

"Lieutenant Hornblower!" Archie adopted his most scandalized tone. "I thought you were supposed to set an example to junior officers!"

"Indeed Mr Kennedy, it will be my great pleasure to set you a very fine example just as soon as the occasion presents." And with a smart salute Hornblower departed.

* * *

  
 **IV**

Archie lay alone in the dark of the middle watch and listened to the stillness. A ship at sea is never quiet, each has her own tone, of wood and wind and water. But after the nocturnal cacophony of the midshipmen's berth, the small cabin was close to silent. But there was one small sound that Archie’s ear was so attuned to that he could still distinguish it, woven as it was into the endless song of the ship. A sound that had hovered on the edge of memory through all the long months and years of his captivity. Quiet, less than a whisper, the soft rhythmic sound of Horatio’s breath as he slept. Just inches away now, on the other side of the thin partition. Archie closed his eyes and drifted with murmuring of the ship and the sound of Horatio’s breathing until he too fell asleep.


End file.
